We can all feel this way from time to time: the problem is when this emotional state becomes chronic
Let’s play a little quiz game. You can answer “good”, “bad” or “more or less”. Let’s begin?
How’s your work? How was your week? How are things with your partner? Overall, how do you feel?
If most of the answers were “more or less” … you might have languor. Don’t be alarmed, there is nothing to worry about. But it’s something that needs to be addressed, especially when it lasts a long time.
But what is languor?
No direction and no motor
It is an emotional state in which “there is no purpose in life, there is stagnation, a feeling of emptiness and lack of passion,” explains Venezuelan Verónica Morera, director of the Purple Rain Nutrition portal, which specializes in integrative mental health.
In this “more or less” state, the main thing is that we feel apathy or emptiness. According to Morera, “we are functional, but we act automatically”: we get up, have breakfast, take a shower, go to work and end our journey “because we have to”.
But it goes on aimlessly, that is, without a purpose in life and without the engine provided by desire and passion.
It’s not something pathological, because it’s part of people’s normal emotional states – and we can all feel that way, even on the same day, with “peaks of inspiration and apathy,” Morera explains.
But when you are languid, “there are no peaks, everything is flat”.
And the problem arises when that flatness, that languor, becomes chronic.
In addition to this constant apathy towards everything, there are other symptoms that can help us detect languor.
For example, you went from home to work, but you don’t remember how you got there. Or you’ve spent a lot of time on social media, but don’t know what you’ve seen. You hold nothing back.
Morera points out that staying too long focused on something is one of the warning signs.
“It’s a way to regulate the nervous system, there is a void and an excess of distractions to escape from.”
Emphasize that excesses in general – from social networks, to food, to alcohol, to sports, to going out – are a means of evasion.
It is also possible to feel the disconnection from the real world: “there is a dissociation, a feeling of not belonging,” says Morera.
We can walk down the street, for example, without noticing anything, or order a coffee without seeing the people around us.
There may also be a disconnect with our own body. We do not realize that we have to take a shower, that we are hungry, thirsty or full.
harbinger of depression
Chilean clinical psychologist Javiera Torres, a professor at Finis Terrae University in Santiago de Chile, says that to control languor, we can pay attention to activities that we have always enjoyed, but that have stopped arousing our interest.
If you paint six days a week and reduce the intensity to the point that you no longer want to paint, that you are bored, “look at this warning and wake up”.
Torres points out that while languor “isn’t depression, that doesn’t mean it’s not important.”
It can be a way to protect yourself in times of “surviving and moving forward amidst uncertainty”, as happened to many people during the pandemic – just when the term became popular.
“The problem with survival mode is that it can only be used for short periods,” Morera says.
If it continues, it can turn into depression.
“I stopped feeling so much passion in my life that, at a certain point, I resigned myself to this state of flattening”, explains Morera about the thought that affects those suffering from languor.
And this state, according to the Venezuelan psychologist, goes from a gray area to darkness, from which it is more difficult to get out.
And doing everything in automatic mode will lead you to not wanting to get out of bed, to see everything on the negative side and not to respect the daily routine.
But there are ways to avoid reaching this extreme.
perceive and act
“The languor is a warning, a call to change, something my body is doing and no longer wants,” says Spanish therapist Ana Sánchez-Anegón, founder of the company El Animal Emocional.
He states that it is necessary to analyze our relationships, our work and our motivations:
“It’s a pain to take charge of our lives.”
After having “observed it from the front and not avoided”, it is necessary to take steps to follow what Verónica Morera calls the “state of flow”, which can be translated as “flow”.
The expression transports us to the field of music: whoever has “flow” feels the music, moves and transmits these emotions and sensations to the world.
But how to get to this state of flux?
“With mastery, awareness (awareness) and purpose, “Morera explains.
Or, in good Portuguese: “Feel competent, [saber] that brings something and does not always do the same, connecting with the present and paying full attention to what you do – and, moreover, that everything has a meaning “.
We cannot, overnight, find a hospital and find a cure for cancer while meditating. But we can do little things that start to “hit us” to find connection, passion and find meaning.
“It can be something simple, like playing a video game with your partner, or with a friend, and recording the game. It’s something that acts as a ritual, it gives you a sense of belonging, of feeling competent. Something that matters, because we’re connecting and recording the game. They can be things like that, little things, “Morera suggests.
What can also help in our routine is to include things, no matter how small, that involve novelty and help you connect with yourself or your surroundings.
Morera recommends, for example, to leave the cell phone at home and “get lost”, taking different paths to go to work (to avoid autopilot) or go to new places that expose us, little by little, to these innovations.
They can also be things that offer a kind of shock to the nervous system, such as a sudden, cold, albeit slow shower that moves the body or touches the feet with the ground.
support network
Javiera Torres also advises asking for help, especially “if this emotion already interferes with your daily life and if you lose a lot of interest”.
He knows that it is not always possible to have psychological help “because mental health is a privilege, so the first step will be to alert our support network: family, friends, siblings, people who can contribute and help us get out of this feeling of emptiness “.
The expert stresses the importance of setting minimum goals.
“I’m going to wake up, get out of the shower and put on these rings that I like. It’s cumulative and that’s how it goes.”
For Ana Sánchez-Anegan, it is important to go through a therapeutic process, because getting out of languor, in many cases, means “breaking with certain things in your life, can be a process of breaking with many of your beliefs”.
However, if this is not possible or if the person does not want to seek professional help, he recommends those suffering from languor to “have a space to listen to each other, speak to themselves or read about personal development”.
‘What you need?’
If you’ve read this far, maybe you know someone who is in the midst of this apathy and doesn’t know what to do.
Javiera Torres states that there is a fundamental magical question:
“What you need?”
“Many times we arrive with our bags, advising what to do. And this doesn’t always make sense to the other person. Therefore, it is necessary to arrive with a very open mind and a disposition towards each other,” he guides.
Helping the other is making oneself available for what the other needs. But what if the languid doesn’t know what he needs? We accompany you in this research.
“It’s not about going in and saying, ‘Let’s do this or that,'” Torres says.
“Because the languid person won’t be receptive. He’s telling them, ‘What do you need? I’m here for everything you need, let me know. I’ll take care of you as you please.'”
And when the person opens up, “try to connect them with what they like”.
Another advice from Javiera Torres to help a person with languor is not to make it increase, not to wait for the critical moment.
“When something goes wrong, it’s best to prevent a little early,” he suggests.
This text was originally published at https://www.bbc.com/portuguese/geral-62579887
Source: Terra
Benjamin Smith is a fashion journalist and author at Gossipify, known for his coverage of the latest fashion trends and industry insights. He writes about clothing, shoes, accessories, and runway shows, providing in-depth analysis and unique perspectives. He’s respected for his ability to spot emerging designers and trends, and for providing practical fashion advice to readers.
