Self-knowledge expert explains how this feeling helps build healthy relationships and the well-being of the forgiver
Celebrated annually on August 30th, National Forgiveness Day seeks to reflect on the power of this noble sentiment. Forgiveness is essential for the quality of life, well-being and the reduction of conflicts that generate violence. Symbolized by the color purple, as an allusion to this date, the month has also been recognized as Violet August, to embrace the campaigns that act to this end.
Don’t wait for the other’s initiative
According to Heloísa Capelas, specialist in self-knowledge and emotional intelligencespeaker and writer of the book “Forgiveness, the Missing Revolution”, people should not expect the initiative to forgive to come from the other, as this must come from themselves.
“Why keep visiting a pain and mulling over that pain countless times over the course of your life? Have you ever stopped to think that everyone has a limit and acts within their own conditions, doing the best or offering the best they could in a given moment? understanding the circumstances is essential to obtain forgiveness, “says the expert.
Negative feelings generate personal question
The expert explains it before living we feel negative in relation to the other, we experience these feelings in ourselves. “Often, the pain we feel for not being perfect is so deep that we demand too much of ourselves, we are our worst executioner: we demand and impose situations that repeat themselves and only increase the demands of ourselves,” he says.
Start with forgiving yourself
Although it is a complex act, which requires self-knowledge, forgiveness is the best way to be successful in a full and peaceful life. Therefore, Heloísa Capelas explains that it must start with the person himself. “The process of forgiveness must begin with us, self-forgiveness is the first step on this liberating path”, she underlines.
Forgiveness helps you understand your emotions
To break with feelings such as anger and pain, the specialist explains that it is necessary to understand one’s responsibility for what happens. This way, you will be aware of the your emotions “Responsibility towards oneself allows us to understand our own paths, desires, choices and decisions. We have no control over the other, but we can have it over ourselves”, emphasizes Heloísa Capelas.
People who forgive live longer
According to researchers from the University of Tennessee in the United States, people tend to feel less hostile, angry and upset when they stop taking revenge and forgive. This improves sleep quality, tension, anger, fatigue and depression.
Again, research published in the Journal of Behavior Medicine concluded that people who are able to forgive unconditionally live longer than those who forgive in some condition, such as an apology.
Forgiveness brings lightness to life
Heloísa Capelas emphasizes that forgiveness helps us to regain well-being, our self-esteem, self-love and personal satisfaction, regardless of facts and people. It is a choice that allows us to have a lighter, happier and more satisfied life. And above all, we find lasting and indescribable inner peace.
“Forgiveness is a quality that does not free the executioner, it frees the victim, and it is sensational! I have this power to free myself from the pain that the other has caused me as often as necessary and be free to relate to a point of view positive, making choices that make me feel good. This does not mean that I will continue to have a relationship with that person, but that I will let go of my pains to also live new relationships “, adds the specialist.
By Ana Paula Giorgetti
Source: Terra
Benjamin Smith is a fashion journalist and author at Gossipify, known for his coverage of the latest fashion trends and industry insights. He writes about clothing, shoes, accessories, and runway shows, providing in-depth analysis and unique perspectives. He’s respected for his ability to spot emerging designers and trends, and for providing practical fashion advice to readers.
