Sex: How couples with young children can maintain a healthy relationship

The arrival of the baby and the coexistence with the baby tends to interfere in the sexual life of the partners. Understanding how to get around the changes of this period

Babies and children are beings who are almost completely dependent on their parents. It is clear, therefore, that the arrival or presence of children in the family will alter the sexual dynamics of the couple, especially if they are still learning to be parents. However, saying that a “change” is on the way does not (in any way) mean that the two will no longer be able to enjoy a moment of pleasant intimacy. Let’s do it step by step …

What can change in sex life after children?

“Sex and libido are energy,” explains Rose Villela, a psychologist specializing in Human Sexuality and a Masters in Health Sciences at the Federal University of São Paulo (UNIFESP). When you have a child, the child needs attention and demands a lot from the parents. So, in the beginning, all the energy of the partners ends up being deposited in the creation and care of this child.

That is why it is very common that, in homes with babies and small children, sexual desire and frequency decrease. “It is natural to have a drop in libido. This is not a rule, one couple or the other ends up keeping their sex life active and the same as they had before their children, but it is the minority of cases. The normal thing is, yes, to go through a transformation“says the expert.

In addition to the decline in libido (which mainly affects women who are breastfeeding, who have high prolactin) and the lack of energy to invest in sexual intercourse, the lack of availability within the home for sex also affects intimate life.

Some couples who try to get closer at this stage may end up being surprised that the baby wakes up at dawn crying and even fearful that the baby, who is already walking, will open the door and catch the parents in a relationship.

“In general, these partners will not be able to relax to engage in sex, as they will always be attentive to the baby’s needs. And to have a healthy sex life, you need to be relaxed and liberated.“, completes the psychologist. Not to mention that the excess of worry also leaves the two vulnerable to the development of a sexual dysfunction during this period.

“The couple must be aware of all this so that there is no distance, both the partner who will stay longer in motherhood and the other, who will enter as the rule and limit of the relationship”, guides Rose.

The important is accept that a transformation is taking place, but that it will pass. It’s accepting, not conforming … “Partners must always invest, remembering that a love relationship is at stake and not letting the eroticism get lost in the way “to complete.

How not to lose sexual intercourse between the couple

Sometimes, we can get confused and think that investing in sexuality is just thinking about sex within the relationship, but it’s not. ” The erotic relationship is also given by affection, a kiss, a hug, a touch, without the need for genital contact. It is the feeling of being involved there and creating a tension in it, an erotic situation. People need to understand and invest in this type of eroticization of the relationship“, recommends the psychologist.

With the help of the expert, we list some of them below attitudes that can be assumed so that the couple does not lose sight of the affective, erotic and amorous relationship in this time. After all, partners are now fathers and mothers, but they remain partners.

• Remember past moments

It is always good to do a mental exercise look at your partner or partner beyond the family role. Remember the moments of excitement you’ve already had, the passion phase – when you met and there was all that fire in the relationship – for example.

• Be relaxed in intimate situations

In homes with slightly older children, this is important ensure that the couple is not interrupted by children and that the partners are rested, relaxed and peaceful in the relationship. Therefore, at “H” time, a tip is to always close and lock the bedroom door.

• bet on the shell

When the baby is asleep, many couples also take advantage of it to sleep. If that’s the case out there, how about investing in a spoon to bring a warmer touch to the relationship?

• Maintain the “kiss” habit.

The kiss awakens the feeling of lust. Therefore, it is important to bring the gesture into the routine. And we’re not talking about goodbye kisses, but about that erotic kiss with the tongue.

• Enjoy the moments when the children are not at home

To invest in a more quality sex act, take advantage of it when the children are not around the house. At that moment the family support network can be activated so that the couple leave the little ones in the care of relatives and enjoy a special dinner or, who knows, pay a visit to the motel.

• Maintain your dating habits

Even in longer relationships, do not leave aside the habits of the boyfriend season. Go out holding hands on the street, make different plans – like going to the bar, cinema or theater – and get ready for these outings.

• Plan a day for intimate moments

It may seem unusual, but setting aside a specific day (or days) to have a sexual relationship, or just an exchange of affection between partners, contributes to one’s preparation and dedication for the occasion. Have you tried there?

Source: Terra

Benjamin

Benjamin Smith is a fashion journalist and author at Gossipify, known for his coverage of the latest fashion trends and industry insights. He writes about clothing, shoes, accessories, and runway shows, providing in-depth analysis and unique perspectives. He’s respected for his ability to spot emerging designers and trends, and for providing practical fashion advice to readers.