There is no point in adopting a simplistic tone and simply saying “no”. It is important, scholars warn, to know how to listen and make them speak

or sexting – the digital sharing of sexually explicit texts and images – is inextricably intertwined with the culture of life teenager and it has become increasingly common and complex in recent years. However, many parents still take the simplistic approach of telling their children, “Just say no.”

This is a mistake, according to Carrie James and Emily Weinstein, researchers of Harvard and co-authors of Behind their screens: what teens face (and what adults are missing)something like Behind the screens: what young people and adults do not realize). “Saying ‘non sexting’ ends the conversation,” James said. And when it comes to nudes, there’s a lot to talk about for teens, moms and dads. In their research, she and Weinstein found that teens sext for a variety of reasons, some of which may not have happened to adults, and that girls are devising sophisticated strategies to discourage nude escaping.

“One of the things we discovered in our conversations with teens is that many of the dilemmas around sexting are quite complicated,” said Weinstein, who, along with James, is a researcher at Project Zero at Harvard, who explores topics in education. . “If we don’t establish these conversations with teens, we are not preparing them to deal with the pressures they are facing.” Here’s what moms and dads need to know about sexting and how to talk to teens about it.

something common

A 2018 meta-analysis of research conducted before June 2016 shows that about 15% of teens had texted sexual content, 27% had received it, and 12% had forwarded it without consent. Another 2021 on studies between 2016 and early 2020 found that 19% of teens had sent these messages, 35% received them, and 15% forwarded them without consent.

Both, however, looked at studies conducted before the pandemic, and the blockages reportedly triggered an increase in sexting. In fact, it has become such a concern that experts have claimed to include it in sex education programs, decriminalizing consensual sexting among teenagers and teaching “safe sexting”, advising to eliminate metadata, never photograph facial features or of the body.

‘It’s complicated’

Some of the girls Weinstein and James spoke to in counseling groups took action to reduce the chances of their nudes losing. For example, superimposing watermarks on images with the name of the guy they were sending the photos to. Or, instead of sending a nude, they sent an image of the Google, capturing the search result to show that the body in the photo was not theirs, if the image was transmitted. “Carrie and I were wondering, why bother with all this? Why not just say ‘I’m not going to send you a picture’?” Asked Weinstein. “And we started to see it as a kind of survival tactic.”

Another thing that may not be obvious to moms and dads is the definition of sexting today. “We tend to use a word like sexting to think of a kind of situation where a guy asks a girl about nudes and she has to make a decision,” James said. But a 2018 meta-analysis found that research on gender differences in sexual content messaging is not conclusive. And research by James and Weinstein shows that young people have sex with a wide range of people for a variety of reasons. Sometimes they find sexting exciting. Sometimes they can use it to show interest in someone. In some cases, older teens have experienced sexting in consensual and trusting relationships. They called adult warnings about sexting “nonsense”.

The researchers also noted that intimate digital communication may be an important option for LGBT + youth who are exploring their sexuality and may not be ready to do so in public.

But there are many scenarios where young people sext under pressure. These include: being threatened or forced to send the message; or not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings.

Some of the scenarios surprised the researchers. For example, requests for nudes from people they see only as friends. Shelley Rutledge, a psychologist from Oregon, witnessed the same behavior. A member of a student support team, she recommends preparing students to handle requests for inappropriate images as soon as they start using the technology. It’s not a unique situation, she said. Fathers and mothers need to monitor the situation frequently and work on “refusal skills”.

Parents also need to understand that consensual sharing of intimate images among teens is no longer seen as developmentally inappropriate, Rutledge said. Therefore, it is not uncommon for young people between the ages of 13 and 18 to be interested in the topic. However, teens are impulsive and may not be able to understand the consequences of their actions or believe in the idea that their experiences are unique and that bad things won’t happen to them.

talk to teenagers

So how can parents find out what’s going on in their children’s digital environment and talk about it? Weinstein, James, and Rutledge advise asking open-ended questions, avoiding judgment, and maintaining an attitude of curiosity. For example, you can ask what sexting is like at school or if your children’s friends talk about sexting.

It’s also important to understand what the role of sexting is for teens, Rutledge noted. Are they tempted to sext because they want to be part of the group, save a friendship? In this case, you can bring the conversation into the value field. But it is not enough to teach teens to defend themselves against inappropriate sexual proposals. Parents should also explain to teens why it is not safe or appropriate to request photos. “All sexes ask, all sexes agree, all sexes can explore, all sexes can be explored,” concluded Rutledge. “The important thing is to make sure you have inclusive conversations, explaining why it’s not safe to offer a picture, but also why it’s very, very unfair to ask for a picture.”

Finally, parents need to assure their children that they can ask for help if sexting goes wrong. This is another reason, Rutledge points out, why it’s important to take a calm, non-judgmental approach. Because ultimately, when our children make a bad choice or are exploited and harmed, we want them to come to us. /TRANSLATION OF RENATO PRELORENZOU

Source: Terra

Benjamin

Benjamin Smith is a fashion journalist and author at Gossipify, known for his coverage of the latest fashion trends and industry insights. He writes about clothing, shoes, accessories, and runway shows, providing in-depth analysis and unique perspectives. He’s respected for his ability to spot emerging designers and trends, and for providing practical fashion advice to readers.