Selma Blair explains decades of alcohol consumption over decades and multiple rapes

Selma Blair doesn’t shy away from sharing the details of her personal struggles, speaking publicly about battling MS after being diagnosed in 2018, but revealing a shocking new experience from the past in her new memoir. the average boy.

In the book, excerpts from which were published in St. People In a magazine on Wednesday, Blair explains how she started drinking at age seven.

“The first time I got drunk was a revelation,” he writes. People. “I have always loved Easter. While taking a small sip of Manishevits, throughout the seder I was allowed to let the light go on and fill it with the warmth of God. But when I was seven, when we had more Manicheans on tap and no one paid attention to my level of consumption, I added: the feeling was not God, it was fermentation. I thought it was a big disappointment, but as I happen to get the warmth of Lord of the Bottle, thank God there’s one here. I got drunk that night. Very drunk. Finally my sister Kate slept with him. I didn’t remember how I got there in the morning.”

In his early years, Blair, who has been sober since 2016, wrote that he didn’t drink often, but “drank quickly when my anxiety wore off.”

“As a rule, I could hardly complain. “I became a seasoned alcoholic who could hide my secrets,” he wrote.

But he drank more in his teens and 20s, and after taking a day off during spring break from college, he was raped by at least one or two people.

“I don’t know if they were both raped or not. “One of them actually did it,” he wrote. “I stayed small and quiet and waited for it to be over. I wish I could say that what happened to me that night was an anomaly, but it wasn’t. I was raped several times because I was too drunk to say, “Please. having.’ Only then was it violent. I left each event silent and ashamed.”

Conversation PeopleBlair explains how he shared several rapes with his therapist, but believes writing about it will help him heal from that trauma.

“This writing stopped me,” he says. “The feeling of my trauma was greater than I imagined. I didn’t understand that the attack was so central to my life. I was so ashamed and guilty. I’m grateful that I felt confident enough to put him on the page. So I can work it out with the therapist and other cards, and it really relieves me of the weight of shame.”

Blair also writes about how he was sexually assaulted as a teenager by one of the deans of Cranbrook’s boarding school, who was walking in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan.

Blair, who sees him as a mentor and trusted friend, writes, “I thought he was the best person I ever met. Kind. High. so generous. I’m sure you can see where everything is going. But at the time I couldn’t have foreseen it. I trusted authority. I was just a teenager. ”

The day before his first year of winter break, he went to his office to say goodbye and crossed the line.

“We hugged. “I felt very quiet for a long time,” he wrote. “He put his hand on my back and grabbed the space above my tailbone. His lips were on my mouth. Please, I thought. Please. , don’t go under your pants, Ralph Lauren khaki approved by my dress code, in which I carefully put my pants shirt on. You’re an adult and I love you; Please don’t touch my pants. But he did. It was a simple matter. He didn’t rape me. He didn’t threaten me. But he broke. “Nothing happened again, but I never felt safe.”

Blair says she hopes her book will help others. “That’s a lot,” he says. People. “I wrote a book for my son… and for people who are trying to find the deepest hole they can reach until the pain is gone.”