Love After a Porcelain Marriage: Advice from People Who’ve Lived Together for 20 Years or More

No matter how impressed we are with older people who look at each other with love, almost always, looking at them, we think that they have seen a lot of good and bad together and have managed to cope with all the problems. How did they do it? Here is what they say about it themselves!

“We never criticize each other’s bodies. In 22 years, my husband has never made me ashamed of my appearance. Instead, he made me feel like a star. We’ve also learned to experiment: you never know what you’ll like until you try. — Toby, 22, married

“Our children are teenage twins. Their life is quite eventful, and therefore ours too. Therefore, my husband and I try to spend time together so that no one bothers us. It doesn’t have to be a romantic encounter – most often it’s a Sunday morning walk or a visit to the farmers market together: we turn a routine into a date. It’s important to take the time to show how much you appreciate each other.” – Jill, married 20 years.

“Big gestures are wonderful, but sometimes the most precious are the small acts of love. Touch is important to me, so my wife always holds my hand when we watch TV, and I never miss that small gesture. To my wife, words have meaning, and so I never forget to say how much I love her. Often, the smallest effort yields the greatest results.” —Christopher, married 22 years

“My friend, who is about to divorce, was stunned when I told her that my husband and I have never had a fight. We argue, we have disagreements, but we never raise our voices or let’s say something bad. It’s the basis of our connection. Sex, passion, dating, happiness – all this will become more or less over the years. But to keep love, it takes trust and respect. — Dawn, married 24 years

“Delegate! Be honest about what you want from a partner and what you prefer to do yourself, then outsource everything else if you can. My husband loves to cook, I like to take care of the household budget None of us like to clean, and we only pay for cleaning services and never argue over who should clean the toilets.” – Loreen, married 24 years.

“I don’t spend all my time with my husband, so I want to spend time with him. We have different hobbies and different friends, and we can always discuss them – that’s what makes us interesting for each other – Kelly, married for 30 years.

Read also: For years to come: 9 clear signs of a long-term relationship

“Dating, touching, kissing before bed, having sex – we hear all the time that it’s very important. I won’t argue with that. But the only way to find out what matters to your partner is through communication. We have been together for 21 years, because we talk about everything and try to be honest and understanding at the same time”, Sarah, married for 24 years.