Much is not enough: Russian writers who lived together

Let’s make a reservation right away that the term “Swedish family” exists exclusively in Russian and has nothing to do with the real Sweden. In the rest of the world, a polyamorous family is commonly referred to as a menage à trois, literally “household for three”. By living in this way, all the participants and only some of them can be in intimacy with each other.

“Not everyone was outraged by the fact that Nekrasov was polygamous, polygamous, incapable of celibate love. Such are almost all the lyrics … “- wrote Korney Chukovsky in his article “Poet’s girlfriends”.

The personal life of the “singer of a Russian woman” was really not easy. At 26, Nekrasov falls madly in love with the beautiful Avdotya Panaeva. And although Panaeva is far from the poet’s first friend, it is she who is traditionally considered his muse and inspiration.

Avdotya Panaeva was smart, beautiful, very talented… and married to another Russian writer, Ivan Panaev. And although the girl at first firmly rejected the courtship of the young rake, she quickly gave up. During one of the trips, Panaeva and Nekrasov confessed their feelings to each other.

What Ivan Panaev experienced about this is unknown, but, apparently, it did not interfere with their friendship. And given that soon all three lived happily in the Panaevs’ apartment, their union turned out to be stronger than it seemed.

Together with Panaeva, Nekrasov wrote several novels – Avdotya later wrote under a male pseudonym, which was common at that time. Rumor has it that Nekrasov repeatedly staged scenes of jealousy for Panaev, but disagreements did not prevent the partners from living together for 16 years – until Panaev’s death.

During this time, Avdotya managed to get pregnant with Nekrasov, but, unfortunately, the child soon died. After Panaev’s death, Avdotya and Nikolai also did not live together for long. Apparently, the “third” of their strange friendship was not superfluous.

In an obituary published in Sovremennik (1862, No. 2), Chernyshevsky wrote: “… Panaev was loved by all who only knew him: there was so much kindness, gentleness and that attraction in him, which is communicated to a person by the predominance of good souls in him. properties…”

Louis Viardot, the famous French writer and art critic, and the opera diva Pauline Garcia married in 1840. He was already forty years old, and the daughter was only twenty. They were introduced by writer George Sand, who, despite being a close friend of Louis, always admitted he was “boring as a last drink”.

Polina found a decent husband in Louis, but this calmness was not enough for her. “As you promised me, I found in Louis an exalted spirit, a deep soul and a noble character… Excellent qualities for a husband, but are they enough?” writes Pauline George Sand.

Three years after the wedding, and there was a reason to dispel boring family life. In the fall of 1843, 25-year-old Ivan Turgenev was among the spectators of the opera performance. And some time later Turgenev met Louis, then the director of the Italian theater in Paris. The opera diva did not particularly single out Turgenev from the crowd of her fans, but at the end of her tour in St. Petersburg, Ivan Turgenev rushed after the Viardot family. For attachment to the “cursed gypsy”, his mother did not give him any money for three years. Turgenev travels through Europe: to Berlin, then to London, Paris, a tour of France and again to Saint Petersburg, while living with the Viardot family “on the edge of someone else’s nest”, according to his own statements. At the beginning of the 1860s, the Viardot family moved to Baden-Baden, and with it Tourgueniev (“Villa Tourgueneff”). Thanks to the Viardot family and Ivan Turgenev, their villa has become an interesting musical and artistic center.

Turgenev loved his four children (including himself) as if they were his own. The true nature of the relationship between Pauline Viardot and Turgenev is still the subject of debate. There is a version that after Louis Viardot was paralyzed due to a stroke, Polina and Turgenev actually entered into a marital relationship. According to one version, in this love triangle there were also men to whom Pauline Viardot belonged…

Grevs, in his “History of One Love”, wondering if the relationship between Turgenev and Viardot could have been a relationship between spouses, states: “It turns out that a three-way cohabitation which does not quite correspond to the natural feelings of people … On what moral principles did it develop? With a strange friendship between Turgenev and the husband of his beloved wife, based on common hunting hobbies, something is wrong.

“Volodya not only fell in love with me – he attacked me, it was an attack. For two and a half years I did not have a single free minute – literally. I was frightened by his self-assurance , his growth, his massive, irrepressible, unbridled passion. His love was immeasurable,” his muse Lilya Brik wrote of Mayakovsky.

In Mayakovsky’s autobiography, the day of meeting Brik in July 1915 is defined as “the happiest date”. Between Mayakovsky and Lilya Brik, a stormy romance broke out very quickly, which was not prevented by Lilya Brik’s husband, Osip. In the summer of 1918, Mayakovsky and Briki began to live together, moving from apartment to apartment. According to the memoirs of the Soviet poet Voznesensky, in old age Lilya Brik confessed to him: “I liked to make love with Osya. We then locked Volodya in the kitchen. He was impatient, wanted to come to us, scratched at the door and cried…”

However, there are versions that everything was quite the opposite – Osip did not have enough strength and health to make love to his wife, and he gave way to a younger lover.

Lydia Korneevna Chukovskaya recalled her visit to the Briks not without rejection: “It was difficult for me to communicate with them, the whole style of the house did not please me. Besides, it seemed to me that Lilya Yurievna was not interested in Mayakovsky’s poetry. I didn’t like the hazel grouse on the table, and the jokes at the table…”

In his suicide notes, Mayakovsky called Lilya Brik and Veronika Polonskaya, as well as her mother and sisters, family members, and asked to hand over the poems to the Briks.

Alexander Ivanovich Herzen was a Russian poet, philosopher and a man of very free views. In 1838 he married his cousin Natalya Zakharyina, and in seven years Natalya bore him six children, three of whom, however, died almost immediately after birth.

The family emigrates to Paris, where Natalia falls in love with Herzen’s close friend, Georg Gerweg. Natalya does not hide her relationship with Herweg and admits that “dissatisfaction, something left unoccupied, abandoned, was looking for a different sympathy and found it in friendship with Herweg.” She proposes to her husband a “marriage of three”. However, spiritual, not carnal. Complete the image of Emma – the wife of Herweg, as well as their children.

The four adults and children settle in the same house, forming a “commune”, which initially did not involve any intimate relationship. Herzen called them “four stars, and no matter how you fix us, we’ll all shine”. But Natalia still became Gerweg’s mistress. Having learned the truth, Herzen insisted that the Herwegs leave Nice. To which Herweg stated that, if so, he would commit suicide. It’s funny that in the international community, Herzen was condemned for trying to separate his wife from her lover.

In 1850 Natalya gave birth to a daughter, Olga. Herzen, though he doubted the paternity, never openly admitted it.

In 1851, the couple reconciled, but in November a huge tragedy awaited the family: when the ship crashed, their eight-year-old son, Nikolai, deaf-mute from birth, mother of Alexander Ivanovich and the boy’s teacher , is dead . Unable to cope with the loss, 34-year-old Natalya dies of premature birth.