“Dad” or a loved one? The true story of a couple with a big age difference

“Recently, I was sitting in the hospital emergency room lazily flipping through the pages of a magazine, waiting for news. A nurse came out of the room and asked, ‘Who’s with Eugene? raised my hand and she said, “Is that yours? ..”

“Husband,” I replied. “The procedures are over, you can get them back,” the nurse said, still looking at me in disbelief.

Ten years ago, I could not imagine that I would marry a man old enough to be my father, whether he was well preserved or not. But I already knew then that the chances of a couple with a big age difference going off the scale are over 90%.

Why do girls choose such men as husbands? The popular theory that they are more financially stable is shattered by my personal story. We have been married for three years, I still drive a 15 year old car. Yes, my husband is not poor, but he invests almost all his money in business development and charity, and I don’t sit at home, but work no less than he does.

The assumption that women are looking for the epitome of a daughter-dad relationship doesn’t work for me either: my dad is alive, healthy, and present in my life just like my mom. For me, there is another option: scientists believe that a woman is looking for a man who looks a bit like her father, so that he protects her and pleases her. And the point is not at all in the sexualization of your parent’s image, but in the qualities that characterize him.

At first, Zhenya was my employer. We met eight years ago when I was working as a waitress at a restaurant he went to. I studied at the faculty of journalism, I knew that he owned several newspapers, and on occasion I said that I would like to work for him.

At that time there were no vacancies in his company, but after about a year he offered me a job. Over time, we became friends. I liked that he takes care of animals, likes to restore old typewriters and likes to travel by car in small towns. Usually somewhere between reading the next issue of the newspaper and sipping a bottle of wine in the evening, if we were late for work, our romance would begin.

And that made it even harder! I thought for several months about explaining this to my parents, but they reacted very calmly. I tried to do my best to avoid gossip at work.

Moral principles also interfered. Although society is increasingly accepting of those who are outside the usual framework, many still believe that if a woman marries a much more adult partner, she becomes a “trophy”. A friend said he lost respect for me. And when we got married, some acquaintances made bets on how long we could last.

It’s such a paradox: the more progressive people are, the more they raise their eyebrows when they hear about a big age difference. And whatever the reasons for marriage, it is believed that a woman gets more from him.

Our sex is a nice story apart, I often give her leadership in bed. I always tried to look sexy, but it turned out that the main thing is not at all. He taught me a lot and always treated me with respect and care.

There is only one downside to such marriages: no, no, and you will think that you may soon have to stop being his wife and become a nurse. Last year, she was diagnosed with Lyme disease, and I immediately thought that my wonderful marriage might soon be over. If he had been my age, my thoughts wouldn’t have jumped so quickly from strange symptoms to possible death.

Another aspect concerns children. I’m not sure I want to start them yet, although my husband doesn’t care at all. But it turns out that when the child goes to school, his father will become a pensioner. How many years do we have ahead of us? 5, 10, 20? Moreover, the risks of pregnancy and childbirth in couples with an age difference are higher than when both are young and full of energy.

Some experts consider us, the young women who have made such a choice in love, as traitors. But that’s not so important, because if you think about it, the most important thing is to be happy. And it’s hard to compete with me in that!