The psychologist explains how excessive insights into motherhood can affect women and gives advice to get around the situation
The dream of being a mother can be strongly shaken by intuitions about motherhood. After all, two lines are enough for the pregnancy test so that family members and close people can also take that experience for themselves. Women, therefore, have to deal daily with comments and suggestions that, not always, have to do with their way of being a mother.
Although many of these – sometimes inadequate – opinions are disguised as advice, it is important to remember that the expectant mother is in a delicate moment, with hormones running high. and this speech can interfere negatively at that stage.
According to psychologist Ligia Dantas, not having a support network makes it difficult for the mother to be with the baby right now. Thereforewomen surround themselves with people willing to help and that, more often than not, they begin to give insights into motherhood.
“Especially in the first child, when we still do not trust, we tend to listen to someone who presumably knows more than us, like the mother-in-law and the mother-in-law, for example. But this he should know, after all, they didn’t even know how to do it and found a way, “considers the specialist and member of the Brazilian Society of Human Reproduction (SBRH).
Insecurity empowers opinions
So, as she is still not so sure how to take care of the baby, the woman starts looking for references. just that this model does not always have to come from the family, did you know that? In this search for help, LÃgia says that support groups, breastfeeding specialists, and the midwife can inspire a lot of confidence.
“But don’t forget to also take into consideration affection, which is often in the impression. So, it’s not always harmful. It’s just a show of worry. What I notice is that women give power to this when they feel insecure, feeling inferior in front of those who already know more “, replies the psychologist.
So while these views can be quite uncomfortable, it is worth checking the cause of that annoyance. As the practitioner pointed out, it is common for family members – especially mothers and mothers-in-law – to show affection based on this advice, as a way of caring. Control is in the way you receive it.
Looking for (your) references
“The question is where we seek the reference and to whom we give that power to direct us. Motherhood is knowledge that is acquired by walking. Claiming and assuming you do not know, that you are starting this journey and looking for your sources is important “, guides LÃgia, who also warns of unproven information on the Internet.
That is, it’s okay not to know – and admit it will take a lot of weight off your back, see? With that, it’s time to learn and you decide where to look for that knowledge. Thus, the psychologist points out that perhaps she has no problem listening to her mother-in-law about her, for example. Then it’s up to you to decide whether or not to follow this advice. After all, the mother is you!
It belongs to the mother and nobody else!
With the child is born the mother, who has to fill this role – and no one else but her. However, even though she is the protagonist of her motherhood, she can listen to advice, ask for help, seek answers to what she does not know. The limit of this lies in the decision to do or not to do what someone has advised – or throbbing.
And this “mother’s house” it must also be understood by outsiders, like closest relatives. “Whoever is on the other side and wants to show affection by seeing that this mother is in trouble, can be available, say that she is there to teach how she did it, if she wants. The important thing is to show that this is the pregnant woman or after giving birth. can count on you And, of course, respect it “, advises the specialist.
Finally, it strengthens the importance of the partner in this process. In addition to welcoming the woman with her insecurities and difficulties, she can be a very useful figure in helping her to face the intuitions and also to get out of the embarrassing situations they provoke.
Source: Ligia Dantas, psychologist, specialist in human reproduction and member of the Brazilian Society of Human Reproduction (SBRH).
Source: Terra
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