Comedian Ruby Wax has revealed that staying away from her husband Ed Bye as much as possible is the key to their 38-year marriage.
The 73-year-old performer explained that distance has strengthened her relationship with the film producer, advice she now offers to other married couples.
Wax, who married 71-year-old Bye in 1988, urged spouses not to spend all their time together and suggested training partners to allow complete independence.
Speaking to the Daily Mail, Wax said: "Don't see them and just train them to let you do whatever you want." She added: "So we're not like a husband and wife, in that sense. My friends aren't his friends."
Wax is an American-British comedian, writer, and broadcaster who became a prominent face on British television during the 1990s through her interview shows. Her husband, Ed Bye, is a veteran British television director and producer known for directing popular comedy series including Red Dwarf, Bottom, and Girls on Top. The couple, who reside in London, share three adult children: Max, 37, Maddy, 35, and Marina, 32.
Unorthodox Living Arrangements
The couple have previously drawn attention for their unconventional living choices. Wax raised eyebrows when she revealed that she spent the first Covid lockdown alone in a single-room lodge in the countryside, separate from her husband and their London residence.
Despite their separate routines, Wax insisted the arrangement suits them well, noting that they share the same sense of humor and maintain mutual interest in each other's work.
Wax said: "We're going on a cruise together, because I'm speaking professionally on a cruise, so that'll be interesting. But usually, he's interested in what I'm doing. We have the same sense of humor, but I don't see him a lot. It really works."
When she is at home in London, Wax explained that she is rarely alone because she regularly invites friends and creative professionals to stay at their house.
Wax said: "I have a lot of people living here. I like the commune effect. It's pretty good. We have a ballerina, a burlesque star, a dancer, a director... we have different people here. It's great. I've said 'come and stay here' and they just never left!"
Day Retreats and Open-Door Policy
Wax's open-door policy has expanded beyond friends to include members of the public. She now invites strangers into her home for day retreats, where she hosts guided group sessions and up-close Q&A time.
The retreats build on Wax's academic credentials in mental health studies. She holds a master's degree in mindfulness-based cognitive therapy from the University of Oxford, a world-leading university located in Oxfordshire. Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy combines cognitive behavioral therapy methods with mindfulness strategies to help manage mental health conditions and prevent depression relapse.
Wax is taking her interactive sessions to a wider audience by joining the lineup for The Big Retreat Cambridgeshire, an adult-only feel-good festival where wellbeing, adventure, live music, and food come together for the weekend.
Festival Appearance and Stage Talks
The festival takes place from September 11 to September 13 in the parklands of Abbot's Ripton Estate, a historic country estate situated near Huntingdon in Cambridgeshire.
The weekend event combines physical and mental wellness activities with entertainment, featuring hundreds of experiences including yoga, Pilates, wild swimming, breathwork, meditation, creative workshops, and cookery demonstrations alongside live music performances.
Wax will take to the stage during the festival to give a talk focusing on her life, career, and personal struggles with mental health. Having spoken at the festival on multiple occasions in the past, Wax expressed enthusiasm for the event's atmosphere and activities.
Wax said: "It's great. There's yoga tents, there's different kind of recipe tents, there's activities going on that are sensational. And then there's me! I think people are interested in the fact that I do retreats, and that I've taken what I learned at Oxford and put it into practice."
The broadcaster explained that her approach on stage relies on complete directness to encourage audience openness and remove shame around mental health issues.
Wax said: "If I open my mouth, they'll open their mouth. It's like if I strip off, they'll strip off. So I think by being really direct they get the idea that there's no shame in anything."
Coping with Mental Health Struggles
Wax has long been a vocal advocate for mental health awareness, speaking candidly about her own struggles with bipolar disorder and depression. Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition marked by extreme mood shifts, while depression is a mood disorder causing persistent feelings of sadness.
She acknowledged that managing her mental health alongside an unpredictable career remains an ongoing struggle.
Wax said: "Sometimes I can't deal with it. So I have RTMS (Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, a treatment that sends brief magnetic waves to specific areas of the brain) and I'm on antidepressants."
Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, known as RTMS, is a non-invasive treatment that uses magnetic fields to stimulate nerve cells in brain areas involved in mood control.
Despite finding solitude at home challenging, Wax noted that performing in front of audiences provides her with a sense of security and comfort.
Wax said: "I do find it a struggle, but my happy place is in front of people. It's ironic, I don't like being alone at home, but put me in front of a thousand people, and I'm at home."
Weekend tickets for The Big Retreat Cambridgeshire start from £269, with day tickets available from £79. Daily Mail readers can receive a 20 per cent discount using the code MAIL20 when booking at www.bigretreatcambridgeshire.com.
