Stop imposing relationships on us! Why female loneliness is normal

Where do these endless “How to find a husband”, “How not to be left alone” and “What am I doing wrong” come from? Why are smart, beautiful women judged solely on their ability to make a couple? Why are professional and creative accomplishments still devalued if there is “no man” nearby? What, without a partner, life ends? The sun hides behind the clouds, and a gloomy veil envelops the earth?

But what if a woman feels good and comfortable alone? If she does not want to build a nest and organize dances with tambourines, attracting a male? Why isn’t there a class on “What a man has to be able to do for you to pay attention to him”? Or is it enough for a man to have the letter “M” in the “gender” column to become a coveted award?

I respect traditional values ​​such as family and marriage. In my life, there have been times of happy partnership and blessed solitude. I just don’t identify myself with a stamp in my passport. I exist and I work perfectly both in pairs and solo. Can’t I go to the river at sunset and, thoughtfully chewing on a dried frog’s leg, whisper affirmations? Can’t I beg the universe to send me a husband? Can I just enjoy my life: going to exhibitions, listening to music, writing articles and chatting with friends, raising a child, traveling and pumping ass for health, not for a potential groom. Can I live for myself – just because I like it?

As a psychologist, I don’t give advice. But as a woman, I can share a recipe with you. In order not to be alone, you do not need a husband, but to be satisfied with your own life. Each person is multiple. A relationship with a man is only one aspect of happiness. You can be single in a marriage. You can be unhappy around people who love you. One can feel a sense of despair at the outward signs of success. The only thing that makes us truly happy is love. And above all, self-love. It is she who is projected onto others, creating an atmosphere of warmth and joy around us. If we are unhappy with ourselves, none of the best men will make us happy.

Loneliness is inside, in our head. A surrogate relationship is not a panacea. The recipe is simple: be at peace with yourself, find yourself and enjoy every moment, work on your dream (whatever it is) and keep moving forward. Only a woman who is happy, self-confident and satisfied with her own life can attract others. Only he who knows loneliness can appreciate the feelings of others. Only those who live at peace with themselves can accept the closeness of another without fear of losing their “me”. Acceptance of one’s own worth, multiplied by love, gives a sense of harmony. This is where the real magic lies. Everything else is nothing more than dried frog legs.