Never do this!  20 “don’ts” in a relationship

Never do this! 20 “don’ts” in a relationship

Unhappy couples keep seeing relationship counselors who make the same mistakes over and over. After seeing enough, psychologists have compiled a list of things you absolutely can’t do, unless you want to ruin your life together. Here are some of these strict taboos.

  • Consider that your loved one is your whole life. It is not easy, the role of the navel of the Earth, not everyone can handle it. Let there be a place in your life for him and for yourself. Even going to him, remain a person – with your interests and activities, your own opinion, do not dissolve into a partner, do not let him cloud the whole world for you.
  • Wait for him to read your mind. Telepathy is a rare gift. Everyone must express their desires and expectations. No “I wanted this ring so badly, but he didn’t guess!”
  • Think for him. You don’t know what’s going on in his head. If your partner’s words can be interpreted in different ways, ask again what they meant. In most cases, people themselves come up with an offensive subtext that the interlocutor has not integrated into what was said at all.
  • Dream of the perfect relationship. Relationships are a process, not a given. It’s best to invest your energy in improving them, and not waste it complaining about how you’re “unlucky with your husband” (or boyfriend).
  • Do not separate from each other. “Tamara and I are going there as a couple” is very touching, but each of you also needs your personal space, your friends, your interests.
  • ADVERTISEMENT – CONTINUED BELOW

  • Compare your partner to others. Maybe the neighbor has a husband and a jack-of-all-trades, but “Marinka’s lover bought a new fur coat.” But your beloved has its own advantages – after all, did he win you over with something?
    Make a list of 10 of his good qualities that distinguish him from others (anything: physical, intellectual, personal qualities). And you will see how unique you are. Psychologists say that a loved one should feel unique, like a snowflake, and not like a tree in a forest of similar trees.
  • Be a victim. For example, attacking the whole household and walking with the air of a martyr on whom the whole house is resting, instead of saying: “So, we’re vacuuming, and you run to the store, here’s the list.”
  • Hate yourself. Because if you treat yourself badly, you will torture your partner. “Ah-ah, he didn’t look like that, he said with the wrong intonation, you don’t love me!” (because you don’t believe it’s possible to love you). All this creates an unhealthy background in the relationship. Accept yourself and everything will be fine.
  • Give up your personal values. Not in the sense that your earrings are now “our” earrings. And the fact that it is impossible to change for the sake of relationships one’s own life priorities and moral principles. Be yourself.
  • Don’t be able to compromise. Stand firm in the important things, you have to know what you can give in and go to each other.
  • “Healthy relationships without respect are like apple pie without apples.”

  • Forget to express your feelings. It is important for people to know that their loved ones love them.
  • Focus on the negative. There are a lot of things mixed up in every relationship – good and bad. Even when you argue, it helps to remember that there is light and kindness between you.
  • Try to resolve all issues. Sometimes a person complains about something just to be listened to.
  • Ignore it and keep playing with the phone when your partner tries to talk to you.
  • Forget showing yourself little signs of care and attention. Sometimes it’s his favorite magazine that you read on the way home, sometimes it’s the volume on the TV turning down when you see he’s tired.
  • Forget to say “Thank you!” Gratitude is an important part of a healthy relationship.
  • Only celebrate official holidays, birthdays, etc. Celebrate all the little joys. The kid got the top five – why not have a tea party? Husband at work finished a difficult project – have a drink to his success.
  • Criticize and humiliate your partner. Healthy relationships are built on support and understanding, not judgment.
  • Don’t respect yourself. As psychotherapist Allison Abrams has said, “A healthy relationship without respect is like apple pie without apples. It’s just not possible.”
  • Source: The Voice Mag

    You may also like