Very adult boy: why do you need a 45+ man?

The stereotypical scheme of a strong couple of different ages – “she has a fresh body, and he has money and experience” – rarely works in practice. Few girls are ready to be just young meat in a relationship – and those who are ready don’t care about a partner’s personality either; he is for them old meat, seasoned with money, what kind of relations can there be in the market, except for commodity money.

Basically, girls look for more understanding and sensitivity in their age partners than they see in their peers, they need quality relationships, not just material stability.

What can go wrong here? Yes a lot.

If you’re in your 30s and expect men in their 50s to be more mature than your peers, this could be a problem.

Compared to twenty years – yes, the difference will be for the better. But at thirty, the personality is already more or less taking shape, and further sudden positive changes are unlikely to follow. If someone is infantile at 35, they will most likely remain so at 50, only that infantile will be so dull and aging. That is, the number of “quality” men does not increase with age, alas. Also, personality defects only get worse over time. What seemed like a sweet delusion in handsome young men and was considered a passing problem, in adults is often fixed and becomes a basic character trait. The same transformation from “what crazy charm” to “what crazy horror” also happens to men. The young stallions manage to turn into old goats without being a normal person. And, yes, the difficult character gets worse and worse.

I once asked my beautiful and wise friend what kind of terrible metamorphosis happens to men, why with age they turn into self-confident bores who tend to teach everyone. (I will say in parentheses, if you need sound advice on life, ask adult beauties – in their presence, men always become stupid, spread peacock tails and bare unsightly chicken asses. These women have seen it all ). Thus, she thinks it is a cursed memory of prehistoric times, when the old hunter feared being expelled from the tribe, since he no longer brought prey, and therefore tried to confirm his usefulness of ‘another way. All that remained was to share the wisdom and instruct the youth. Apparently, the subconscious fear has not disappeared, and with age men turn to excessive “expertise” on any issue. And it is especially convenient for them to instruct a young woman who lives nearby. Honestly, this is an unsolvable problem for me, I don’t know how to convince an aging man that you won’t kick him out of the cave to die if he stops teaching you for a minute. He has a definite opinion on everything, it is impossible to convince him, and the dialogue with him constantly turns into a lecture.

The stability of the materials is also not as clear as we would like. Well, if it’s unshakable, but there are not so many oligarchs in the world, basically, we meet people with an average income level and average security. But the world is changing, to keep pace and hold positions, you need a certain flexibility of mind, speed of reaction and endurance. You will find all of this among your peers rather than among people over fifty. They are good in their field, but it is difficult for them to make a qualitative prognosis and adapt to changes. Simply put, it’s called “teaching an old dog new tricks” – experienced trainers don’t take it.

And if here we constantly remember old sayings about animals, then it is worth talking about sex, because “the old horse will not spoil the furrow, but he will not plow either.” The amount of testosterone steadily decreases with age. Attentive, gentle, long sex, for which we love adult partners so much, becomes more and more thoughtful and measured, then imperceptibly passes into deep sleep. If you are considering a long-term relationship with a fifty-fifty man, keep in mind that after fifty-five he may need Viagra. There is nothing terrible about this, but health must be at an appropriate level to resist stimulant drugs.

But let’s not end on this gloomy note: we all age, and that’s no reason not to live, not to form new relationships and not to fall in love with whom it is impossible. Just keep in mind that the advantage is not age, but maturity, which may not come even at old age, but it happens at 25-30. First look at a person, do not limit yourself to age limits, do not be deceived by either youth or adulthood. If you feel happy here and now, stick with that partner, regardless of age. Well, keep in mind all the “pitfalls” listed, they exist somewhere, but that does not mean that they will definitely interfere with you.