dependency relationships. Go or avoid?

Mila Venetsianskaya, astrologer at the “Laboratory of Life” center

Two different types with equal success exist in our world and, in theory, should not interfere with each other. This is so, but only until they begin to actively share their experience, give recommendations, give expert advice, try to correct each other.

These two types can still find common ground and communicate productively. However, as people of different types try to build close relationships, in which each of the partners comes within the personal boundaries of the other, various contradictions can (predictably!) arise. How do you accept them and not let them destroy really important and necessary relationships?

Each of us has an individual set of qualities and characteristics. At the same time, if, guided by them, a man or woman achieves a certain status or firmly clings to the real world, then such a strategy is considered successful and worthy of emulation both by the person himself and by her entourage. Call it conditional independence.

It is easy to guess that such an image of a stable, independent person is generally welcomed by men. It allows them to reach the heights of society, to gain social status and to be attractive to women.

Women can also make a choice in favor of a behavior of self-sufficiency, but this is especially successful when they reach professional heights. In family life or personal relationships, such tactics of a woman: 1) create competition with a man if he is used to being independent; 2) contradicts the historically established division of roles in the family; 3) can make a man weaker if a woman wins the contest for a main role, or leads to the fact that a woman immediately chooses a dependent man.

The astrological approach, as well as the psychological approach, makes it possible to classify people according to a certain type: stable (self-sufficient) or unstable (dependent). In general, after analyzing life, one can understand what type of type a person belongs to; however, if everything is complicated, the astrological approach will give an accurate answer.

Seeking the support of others, the opportunity to join and form alliances (of two or more people), to invest in a common cause their knowledge, skills, opportunities, activity, finances, material resources, etc. A mandatory part of life will be conversations, discussions, disputes and joint decisions.

He acts more effectively on his own, makes independent decisions, relies on himself, implements his plans on his own. It was for them that the slogans “Believe in yourself!”, “I can do everything myself(a)” were created.

There is also a mixed type: the prevailing version of one’s own realization may differ in duality, which, according to astrologers, is manifested in the peculiarity of the interaction of the Sun and the Moon in the horoscope of each person. Make an independent decision and then discuss it with loved ones? Or ask for an idea and make it happen together? Patterns vary.

The ideal option that most women dream of and fulfills the dreams of young girls: a man is independent, and a partner can relax, get into the position of a follower. If a woman is truly dependent by nature, then such relationships have the prospect of being long and happy. The other side of the coin of such a partnership is the loss of individuality, especially in the absence of the help of a man. At the same time, an empowered man more often draws attention to his own achievement than to the support of his partner, because this fully corresponds to his essence and is not selfishness, as a woman may begin to think with time.

Now consider the least promising option in terms of successful partnership interaction.

Such a couple can have two vectors of development.

A woman goes to her own realization in society. In a couple, she takes the initiative, makes decisions, and the man supports her and, together with his partner, does everything necessary for their union.
The woman decides to play by the rules of the classic “ideal case” and assumes the role of a housewife or a gray cardinal in a couple. Since the partners will always live in accordance with their internal characteristics, the woman will remain in a position of leadership, and the man in the slave. The partner will by all means stimulate the man to social achievements, more income, making independent decisions. In anticipation of a man’s initiative, she can live for many years until she understands (on her own or with the help of specialists) that he is not able to take such a position simply to because of his character. For a partner, such demands from a woman, which he will not be able to resist and will satisfy, will turn into exhaustion and loss of strength – at best. At worst, they will lead to depression or illness: he will actually live his life for himself and his partner and expend the resource at a faster rate than expected when he was born. For such couples, the advice is: a woman should realize her potential on her own and not force a man to act on his ambitions.

A crisis in any couple arises, as a rule, in case of incorrect assessment of the nature and inclinations of each of the partners. Any type of interaction, whether it is a couple made up of partners of the opposite type, or a union of people with the same type of stability/dependence, has the right to exist and the possibility of relationships. harmonious and happy. First of all, truth and an objective assessment are important: who belongs to what type. The absence of rose-colored glasses and thoughts that over time everything can change the other way will not hurt – and life will miraculously improve.

Relationships are built with a mutual investment of strength and emotions and with a real desire to be together. It is what connects two different people with individual characteristics and helps create strong couples over the long term.