Threesome love: you, him and his ex

Oh, if it was just a threesome, then no, your ex is present in your life exclusively “spiritually”, but she seems so dense that you will suddenly bump into her in the hallway. It’s as if she didn’t exist. But it’s there.

To begin with, of course, it is worth understanding how justified your claims are – perhaps you are too jealous. The fact that your sweetheart did not come to you as a virgin can, of course, hurt, but you need to control yourself. We are incapable of destroying its past at the root; moral principles and the penal code prohibit it. If you are annoyed by birthday wishes and old photos together on his social networks (by the way, how did you get there?), then motherwort and meditation will help you overcome this; you don’t have to do anything else.

But what should you really be worried about?

He mentions it often. Moreover, the context does not matter, he can talk about her terrible character and bad habits, comparing her flatteringly: “There she is! But you’re not like that! What is important here is that he is comparing, and this relationship is painful for him and has not been experienced. Sometimes you want to say “Shh, baby, the mean aunt is gone and never coming back, now you have me.” ” But we need to rephrase it in a gentler way: I’m different, you and I have a new story, let’s not bring old problems into it – we’ll have our own, I promise. Because if he doesn’t learn to separate his wives from each other, one day you will certainly hear the statement “yes, you are all the same.” He will look for terrible signs of his ex in you and will definitely find something.

Of course, it’s a shame for traumatized men who are afraid of other women, but much more unpleasant are broken-hearted men, who once had a wonderful love, but now he is here, with you. Things didn’t work out for them there, and he, with an unhealing hole in his chest, bravely tries to build a new relationship. Years have passed since then, but…

Unfortunately, women often pull out the duvet they’re wearing or take it as a challenge – as Carlson said, I’m better than a dog?! One way or another, the woman enters into an exhausting, obviously losing battle, it is a fight with a shadow.

The fact is that a man capable of declaring this intends to use his supernatural love to indicate your place – far from first in his heart. “You are not her” will always be implied in your relationship, it will be carte blanche for him and a constant reproach for you. He has the right not to try, you are not the One, and for the same reason you will never gain trust in your partner.

I’ll tell you a secret, it’s impossible to surpass the One, because it doesn’t exist. Surely in her place there was a confused girl, overwhelmed by the narcissistic expectations and neuroses of a man, but she managed to escape them in time. You are not.

These are all cases of so-called ghost exes, but sometimes they are still present here and now. This usually happens when the couple managed to part peacefully, good relations were preserved and transformed into friendship, mutual claims and passions disappeared. It sounds fabulous, but it happens. In any case, the man declares that friendship with this woman is an important part of his life and that he will not change anything, because there is no threat to your relationship. It is the past that you must respect.

You should probably then meet and observe such a friend and his communication. When sparks fly and someone has false hopes and doesn’t respect other people’s boundaries, it’s usually very obvious. Especially when your ex starts commenting on your relationship in the spirit of “I’ve seen a lot of girls around him.” In this way, she tries to devalue what is happening to you and emphasize the uniqueness of her own intimacy. Or when a man is too involved in his life and his new hobbies. Clearly, these two haven’t figured things out yet, and you’ll either have to talk to the man or back out.

Some exes become active themselves, maintain a close connection with the man and try to establish it with you. Well, you can maintain communication, but only if you consider it safe and you yourself need it for some reason. New friends are good, but remember: among all the variety of candidates for a girlfriend, you can easily find one who has not seen your man naked (except in cases when you are in a relationship with a world class porn star).

This doesn’t mean that you can’t communicate at all, but there is a clear sign that it would be better not to. Walk away from her ex if you feel like she’s wasting a lot of your energy. That is to say, very curious, very annoying and often occupies your thoughts. By giving her your attention, you will begin to attract a man’s attention to her, you will begin to talk about her a lot, and she will truly become the third in your couple.

Also read: woman owner: what do you risk if you consider a man your property?