5 questions men ask most often about sex and their answers: a sex therapist explains

Chantel told about the questions that representatives of the “strong half” of humanity usually ask her, and, of course, we are in a hurry to share with you their innermost dreams. Although, if you think about it, these questions are more like nightmares – apparently guys only turn to a sex therapist when they’re scared!

Have you ever had a lover that didn’t work out? This turns out to be the most popular question men come to a sex therapist with. Chantel explains that erectile dysfunction can happen to a member of any age – it’s normal in 20s and 50s. There could be dozens of reasons – stress, depression, medication side effects, blood vessel or hormone problems, excessive alcohol consumption, etc. In younger people, the dysfunction is usually caused by psychological factors, but not always – so if the difficulties reoccur, simply send your partner to the doctor. And if it turns out that he is healthy – to a psychotherapist!

Premature ejaculation is often the subject of jokes in movies, but in real life it’s no laughing matter at all and can be quite devastating for sufferers and their partners. By the way, whether a man has this problem should not be judged by time at all: it is diagnosed in men who are unable to resist ejaculation earlier than they want.

More often than not, premature ejaculation has to do with anxiety and what’s going on in the brain, and has nothing to do with the penis itself, Shantel says. It is usually treated with psychotherapy and/or medication, and there is no quick fix – it takes a lot of time and a willingness to work out a solution to get rid of the complexities.

Delayed ejaculation may sound appealing – after all, someone who suffers from it can have sex for hours. But in practice, everyone turns out to be upset – both a man who can’t orgasm and his mistress – after all, most of us don’t need friction marathons at all .

“There are many reasons why delayed ejaculation can occur, and before coming to an appointment with a sex therapist, it is worth having a medical examination,” says Chantel. Part of her job is to help the man connect with his body and work with both partners to reduce their anxiety about the problem.

“It’s normal to be nervous in bed with a new partner or during experiments,” explains the sex therapist. “Sometimes it can even increase arousal. But sometimes anxiety can escalate into panic or fear of anything to do with sex. According to her, this can happen to both men and women: people of both sexes often worry about not performing well enough in bed.

For men, Chantelle says, what’s complicated is that their “not good enough” is immediately obvious (see question number two on erectile dysfunction). The sex therapist advises, first of all, to realize: the belief that in bed you should definitely show your skill and endurance – it sucks! If you suddenly cannot calm down on your own, you should consult a psychologist – he will help you cope with anxiety and gain self-confidence.