Mindset? 16 Problems Only A Blonde With White Skin Will Understand

1. I spend a lot of money on sunscreen.

If you add up all my SPF labeled purchases, you get the budget for a small country.

2. I go to the beach fully clothed

Long dress with one sleeve. Broad brim. Sun glasses. When I step out into the sun on a nice day, I look like a parishioner gathered for a Sunday service at church.

3. I’m freckled. Everything Carl!

Who said freckles were cute? Sometimes, and for some, it’s just awful! There are more every summer day, and sometimes I feel like I haven’t washed my face in a year. And by the end of the season, I’ll be a giant freckle. Charming.

4. I don’t sunbathe

I’m burning You don’t have to watch Game of Thrones to find out what it’s like to be burned alive. Just call me at the beach. And when the crimson hell is over… I look like a pale spirochete again. Ha ha.

5. I take off

My friends, even after sitting in the sun until their skin turns red, in the morning they already forget that something has gone wrong. And I, like a snake, long and painfully change my skin.

6. I have 10 hats

None suit me, because I hate hats in general. Under them, the head sweats, all styling is crumpled, and nothing is visible under the fields. But I am doomed to wear them. All summer.

7. I’m afraid of skin cancer.

And I fall into hysterics at the sight of a huge mole that has just jumped… Ah, it’s a new freckle. But stay!

8. People tell me: you have an aristocratic pallor!

I know I sound like Casper, thank you.

9. I can’t even use self-tanner!

Because on my skin it either takes on an orange or purple hue.

10. Friends are going on a picnic again without me.

No, I’m not boring and I love boating on the lake and playing beach volleyball. But why not choose a cloudy day for that?

11. I always know a few shady spots

And I react to a sudden void among the clouds faster than any vampire.

12. My blue crowns are so attractive!

Sarcasm sign. Yeah, and don’t mess about blue blood. Not funny.

13. I look 5 kg heavier than me.

Because tanned people always look slimmer and fitter. There is no justice in the world.

14. If I burn myself, they ask me if I know about sunscreen.

Shit, I know them all! Did you know that there is an SPF 120?

15. After a vacation, they ask me why I didn’t go anywhere.

Because since I came home untanned, I was definitely sick and stayed home.

16. I. Really. I like. winter.

In winter, we are on a par with the tanning half of humanity.

Photo: Getty Images