Expert reveals how the concept of selfishness is imposed on women from childhood, forcing them to prioritize other people over themselves
Taking care of yourself before taking care of others is extremely important, but this, unfortunately, can be seen as selfish by others. Especially if the person in question is a woman, as, in many cases, there is a cultural background that imposes this position of caregiver on them.
According to White Baronhuman behavior specialist, this social concept causes many women to take a back seat. “We have learned that caring for others means being good people, and because we want to be good people, we end up prioritizing others. This can also be seen in the design of toys for girls, which are often related to housekeeping, pets. domestic or even children “, says the specialist.
This education of concepts in childhood causes ideas to be created to corroborate this kind of prerogative that is often imposed on women. “After taking a toy and going out with it to a playground, for example, another child may be interested and it is natural to deny or not let him play with this new toy. Our mother, father or whoever, in this situation , usually say, ‘Don’t be selfish, lend the toy to your little friend!’ So we understand that saying no to prioritize ourselves is being selfish, and we started saying yes when we wanted to say no, giving priority to the other’s will or need over our own, “explains Branca.
Furthermore, this type of mindset can also be directly linked gender inequality issues. “Often the daughters take care of the food, the house and the siblings, while the boys play video games or play outdoors. This is reinforced by seeing the mother preparing lunch while the father watches football, and in this we build the belief that women care for others while men take care of themselves. So, seeing the father take care of the animal or child in turn with their own needs and the mother do the same, teaches the boys to take care of others too and the girls to take care of themselves as well, ”says the mentor.
For the expert, it is necessary to go against these teachings and always put oneself first. “You need to be aware of your need, desire or will, to satisfy yourself first and then to care for and satisfy others. Take care of yourself so that you can be whole and thus take care of others when needed“, points out.
Source: Branca Barão, specialist in human behavior e master coach in systemic neurolinguistic programming.
Source: Terra
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